Angels are done with y’all’s wokeness. Except Angel Gabriel.
Angel Michael: Ok, fellow angels, It’s that time of the year when we will be buried in tons of requests from earth. I know we all wish it were the good ole days when spelling errors were all we had to put up with. Now, we have autocorrect mistakes, Ebonics, offensive words that aren’t offensive. As if that isn’t confusing already, they add a t to words that don’t end with a t. Jeez!
Angel Raphael: Like the time someone wrote in that I was a badt angelt. I sulked for three days before Gabby here told me it was a compliment. Crazy humans.
Angel Gabriel: Urban dictionary all day, err day.
Angel Michael: And speaking of which, Angel Gabriel prepared a list of on fleek words, like humans say to help us breeze through. Gosh. I never thought I would say this, but I’d take fighting Lucifer over this.
Angel Gabriel. LOL sis, snatched is the new fleek. Ok, y’all might think humans are extra but they are our stans. (passes a list) this list will help you stay woke when those requests start flying in.
Angel Jeremiel: But we never sleep, we are always praying, praising, or singing the alleluia chorus.
Angel Gabriel: (laughs) I’m dead fam. Now back to the list. I wrote the meaning of the words you might see. Like some humans refer to God as zaddy cos He’s the GOAT, and because calling him God is basic. Others will throw some shade at Lucifer; dude is low key salty AF cos he took an L.
Angel Raziel: Hold on guys, I’ve an idea. I propose Angel Gabriel appear to Obama like he did Mary? Everybody likes Obama… except that other guy.
Angel Gabriel: That’s a bad idea. Really badt. I see why nobody includes you in #squadgoals.
Angel Raphael: Why is it a bad idea again?
Angel Gabriel: I’m shook that you’re even considering it. Obama’s hair has gone grey! Do you want them to come for his edges too? Look, I suggest we get to work. However, I have one request. If you don’t understand anything, just walk to my post and ask me. No sliding into my DM. I mean it. Atheists think we gay since there are no females and we don’t want feminazis to start demanding equal rights. If that happens, we are royally screwed.